I don’t get out much without the boys. Since Prof. Husband works pretty much all the time right now, and we don’t have a nanny and haven’t found a baby sitter yet, I just can’t. I have one night a week however, that is only mine (or at least for a couple of hours), and what I do is, I sing. I joined a choir one of our first weeks here. It’s a big choir, and the director is awesome. I get to meet people I wouldn’t usually ever talk to, I get to sing, use my brain, and not nurse, or dress, or cook, or clean for a while.
I love singing. Ever since I was little I’ve sung in a choir, joined groups, or done solos at school. I don’t have an amazing, breathtaking voice, but I have a strong, solid voice with a nice vibrato, and I’m really good at finding – and keeping – a pitch and a count. This makes me a great choir member, and I’m used to being put in whatever section needs help or a push. When this choir director heard me sing, he decided I would sing with the alto section this year. I was happy, because I like the alto section; it’s a little more challenging that the soprano section, which usually sings the melody.
For our Christmas concert this year we are doing a couple of pieces that require solos, and today, whoever wanted to try, was allowed to sing the solo part of their choice. I signed up for a gospel solo, which I had been trying out for at home. When I heard the others sing before me, I thought I had a pretty fair chance at getting the part, however as I stepped up to sing, I got so incredibly, acutely nervous, that I choked up – I mean really; I couldn’t hold a note – and completely and utterly blew it. I’m trying not to think about how awful it must have sounded, but I know it was bad enough. It didn’t come out the way it had at home at all. I’m disappointed. It would have been so much fun.
Why do I suddenly get nervous like that? I used not to. I was the talkative, forward, open and fearless girl. What happened? Most importantly, how can I work on it?