Weighed down

I’ve started some kind of… something. I need to lose a lot of weight, but I'm like the worst dieter ever, so saying that I'm on a diet would be incorrect.

I have dieted in the past. A year after I had my second baby I lost 8 kgs over three weeks on the Atkins diet. It was really, really hard. I was always thirsty, always felt kind of icky (from eating too much bacon and eggs, no doubt), and I craved apples and strawberries so bad I couldn't stand it). The weight stayed off, and I guess three weeks seems like a small sacrifice, but it really was unbearable. I’ve also tried weight watchers, but the weight loss was slow, and at this point in my life, the whole counting calories and point system is much too complicated.

What I’m doing now is

1/I'm trying to think about what I put in my mouth, and not eat like I'm used to. Although I certainly know what's healthy and not, I have not cared one bit over the past couple of years about what I eat. I’ve eaten what’s cheap, easy, at hand and tasty. I’ve eaten because something was there in front of me, or because it was easy. The result is devastating. In the past I've only weighed this much while pregnant. And not like first trimester pregnant, but really pregnant.

The good news is that it’s not hard for me to restrict my eating, since I’m not very particular about what I eat or the size of a meal, as long as it’s tasty and at hand. Vegetarian, no red meat, just salads, no bread, whatever; I’m cool with all foods (as long as there’s some variety). The bad news is, it’s going to take a long time for me to lose all this weight, and I don’t know if I have the mental capacity to keep myself focused. I’m so used to putting everyone and everything ahead of me, that I can see myself moving this whole dieting business to the back burner if it takes too much of my time and effort. Why go through the effort of making a salad when Ramen noodles are so much quicker?

2/I've started exercising regularly, like, every day. I run around the track - or on the treadmill at the gym if it's raining - for about 45 minutes every day. If I can manage, I like to do this around sun set – after school is done but before dinnertime, while the kids play in the playground. It is so beautiful and energizing to run under a pink, purple, blue, yellow and red sky, against the blue Mediterranean, it takes my breath away every time I come around the track so that I have the sea in front of me. If nothing else, this splendor along with the wonderful feeling I get when running, will encourage me to keep going. Then after the kids go to bed I do 30-45 minutes of Mel B, which is a Wii fitness game Courtney got for me. It’s not exactly cardiovascular, but it's fun and it gives me really sore muscles so I figured it must be doing something. Most of all, it keeps me from watching TV with snacks and drinks in the evenings. See, there’s some strategy here.

I’m no health guru, and there might be more efficient ways for me to lose weight and get into shape, but I figure that if I can keep this going for a while, I might start seeing some results soon. I hope. What do you think? Do you have any advice?