My two-year old's art

A lot of people ask me what I do with Abraham while I help the older boys with their school work. The thing is, I don't really do anything separately with anyone. Abraham either plays with his toys, which we keep where we can see him from the dining room table, or he sits with us at the table drawing, painting, playing with play-doh, "writing," or crafting. In fact, he spends a lot of time there with us, marker or pencil in hand, and his drawing skills are improving by the week.

For the moment he starts out by making a lot of little dots, and then he either circles them or connects them. After he finished the picture to the left, I asked him what he had made and he told me without thinking about it, that it was an airplane, "Aey-pane, mama!"

Busy week and happy birthday!

Following our determination to keep busy and not get hung up on clouds or other disheartening bothers, we’ve been – you guessed it – busy this week. The boys made a push for it as far as school is concerned (or I guess I did the pushing and they the shoving), and I am very happy with their progress this year. They are excellent students, really. Because they’re doing so well academically we’ve been able to concentrate even more on extra-curricular activities, which means we all got a good amount of exercise this week (baseball, running, soccer, gymnastics, taekwondo, swimming, and tennis), as well as attended several social activities and made a lot of awesome food. We also watched “The King’s Speech” and other interesting movies and shows (it really did rain a lot this week!), listened to and played a lot of music, and produced some amazing art projects. My husband and the boys also performed some pretty wicked science experiments (or maybe that should be listed under academic achievements - it all blends in when you homeschool, anyways). Basically; they lit a small fire and place it under a glass in the microwave, producing plasma. To be honest, I was not very excited about it because many things could go wrong, and our microwave, my new Pyrex oven dish, and other things could break, not to mention the danger it posed to the boys. All went well, however, and the experiment was a success: the plasma really did look like an alien space invasion!

Then today we celebrated my husband’s birthday. The whole day it poured outside so we didn’t go anywhere (the boys played outside for a bit in the morning, but that’s it); we stayed inside and enjoyed Courtney’s new presents (a juicer, among other thing – have you ever tasted juiced lettuce? Yuck! "What else can we juice, honey?) had tapas (goat cheese wrapped in Parma ham, bacon wrapped dates, cherry tomato salad, cheese coins, baked brie, etc. – mostly courtesy of the recipes of Tina, the Swedish chef), the boys watched a movie and played a lot of games, my husband and I worked a bit, had champagne, sushi, shrimp and coconut cake. "Happy Deweeee!" Abraham sang (when we presented the cake to the birthday boy), and blew out all the candles himself, his second birthday still fresh in memory. So cute.

It was a truly decadent day, preparing us for another working week. Bring it on!

Cloudy, dark, rainy, stormy and cold days in Beirut

It’s past mid-February and I haven’t posted for over a week. I have no real inspiration, nothing extraordinary to tell, and no constructive or at least not expressible thoughts.

I haven’t felt this down in years, and I’m thinking it’s probably the weather. To combat my inclination to sit around and do nothing, or rather my desire to sit around and do nothing (as a homeschooling mother of three boys whereof one is a very active toddler I hardly ever sit down – period), I did some research on my feeling down symptoms earlier this week, focusing on what I can do to feel better. I am a very practical person and as much as I would like to dive into studies discussing the reasons and elements of depression, I simply don’t have time to sit around and ponder (at least not on these types of problems for the moment). I need my energy, inspiration and zest back: projects and ideas are slipping through my fingers, articles are not being written, the house is deteriorating, and the children’s schooling is uninspiring.

Before I give you a list of advice the literature seems to agree on are helpful in situations like these, let me just say this: there are a lot of badly written articles and lists on the internet, and it seems that most websites get their information from each other [plagiarize]. There is also a lot of cheesy self-help literature published. 

Below list is based on a few studies I found interesting, and some of the advice these eager self-help ‘experts’ offer: I figured that whatever I could retain in my downward state would be worth writing down.

I have started to follow some of the below advice, and although I haven’t noticed any significant difference in my mood yet, my life has certainly got a little more interesting.

1. Be curious and engage in activities outside of your comfort zone. Do things that require new skills.

As a first tiny step in this direction I started at mealtime to use recipes I would usually dismiss, and cooking new exotic or unconventional dinners. It doesn’t really take that much more time – I just need to be a little more organized when it comes to shopping.

Courtney and the boys have got engaged in a couple of projects that basically involve growing bacteria. They have large containers fermenting in the laundry room, and we have already got to taste the outcomes: soda, cider, and home-made yogurt.

2. Be thankful. Write down things you are grateful for and think of the good things in your life.

Incidentally, I just read a funny and inspirational blog post on this topic the other day. For every bad thing that happens throughout my day I try to think of a few things related that I am thankful for. It does make make me appreciate my family and the experiences we have had, along with the simply things in life, like a blue sky, comfortable sneakers, or finally finding a fabric softener I love the scent of (Aroma therapy, limited edition something).

3. Change your thought cycle by writing down the negative thoughts you often have and take them apart by analyzing the main problems and finding solutions. Write down the things that make you unhappy and plan on improving them. Then don’t ruminate or dwell, but do something constructive about your situation.

This is probably the most difficult advice to follow. Even with the problems and solutions on paper, the long-term outcome seems so far away for the moment, and the effort needed so big, that without inspiration or strength, it’s too daunting.

4. Socialize and interact with people; friends and strangers. Do a good thing and show acts of kindness and generosity.

We do this every day, and although it helps to get out of the house, it gives but a temporary boost. Really; I need to be able be alone and feel happy, and hanging out with friends or talking to people around Beirut does not exactly help this. Although it is fun.

5. Get healthy – exercise and especially outdoor activities will make you feel better, and a balanced and healthy diet along with a lot of water will make you feel more energized, stronger, and more capable.

Now this I can do: running has always inspired me, and despite my overweight, I can still enjoy an hour on the treadmill or around the track. It’s fun and makes me feel strong indeed.

6. Set a happy scene: plants in the house, flowers, pleasant music and a good smelling house will make you feel good and relaxed at home.

We had a small gift exchange for Valentine’s Day, and the boys gave me some scented candles. The only problem is that Abraham blows them out as soon as they are lit. “Happy Deeewwie a meee!” he sings - reminiscing his recent birthday no doubt - blows out the candles, and gives himself a round of applauses.

I’ve also tried to pick up some plants around town, and Courtney has downloaded some new music for us to play throughout the day. I have to agree that it does make doing stuff around the house more pleasant.

7. Schedule your time so that you maintain a balance between ordinary and fun, inspirational activities. Make time to see friends and other mothers, and definitely make time for yourself. Also, make sure you schedule happy time with your children: do something fun!

Apart from singing in a choir I have also joined a book-club, and I just finished our first book, The Bastard of Istanbul, yesterday. Not only will this be a boost in my social life, but I will also end up reading a lot of books I would not usually pick out – killing two birds [or advice – see advice number one!] with one stone!

I think I got the happy-time with your children advice from a site aimed specifically at homeschooling parents, and I find it a very good idea. While feeling uninspired, it’s easy to just do the bare minimum as far as school goes. It really doesn't have to be like that at all though. With a minimal budget we are limited to doing things that are free and within walking distance, however I’ve made a list of things we will do over the next couple of weeks, and the boys are always so happy about new adventures that I’m sure we’ll end up with plenty of exciting new experiences.

Hopefully over the next couple of weeks I will find my zest again. Although I don’t feel any great improvement yet, I must say that researching, making lists and trying new activities has kept me and everyone else busy, and our household seems a little more creative than usual.

This is any man I know...

Our high electricity bill

It’s a cloudy day in Beirut, dark and chilly, with rain hanging in the air. Because we’ve been overwhelmed by the electricity prices here we are trying not to use our heaters. Every month, a guy from the electricity company comes to check our meters and collect payment. Every month we’ve been shocked by the amount on the bill, however the first couple of months we figured perhaps it was high because of the air conditioners and the fact that we had not been charged for our first month yet. Then we received another enormous bill, without having used heaters, A/C or anything that would use a lot of electricity. We don’t even have a television! 

So we did some research; turned things on and off while checking the meter. As expected, it started to run when we used the washer and dryer, which we suspected and have tried to be careful about. We also discovered our problem: it turns out that as modern and fancy this house is it has ancient water heaters without thermostats to regulate the heating of the water. Unlike water heaters that we have been used to in the past, our current water heater doesn’t turn off when the water has been heated - you actually have to turn the breaker off to make it stop running. Basically we’ve continuously been running two huge water heaters since we moved in here. Sigh. I’m glad we finally figured this out because we were starting to wonder how we are going to survive in Beirut when our savings run out - too bad it had to cost us hundreds of dollars to discover this though.

Now we turn the water heaters off in the evenings, and back on in the morning, and then off again during mid-day. It takes the heaters well over an hour to heat up water for a shower or bath, and the water doesn’t go as far as when we had the heater running all the time, but this is a sacrifice we have to make. There’s enough for a 15 minute shower, a bath for the boys, or doing the dishes. To compensate for not having hot water all the time, we’ve also bought hand sanitizers for the bathrooms. I wonder if this is what the other people in our building do, or if they just wash their hands in cold water. I sure hope that is not the case at the plastic surgery clinic on the second floor. Although they probably don’t have to worry about their bill.

Birthday pictures - Abraham turned two!

 

Abraham helped make the cake of his choice - chocolate cake. For his birthday he got a toy kitchen, which we overpaid for at the Virgin MegaToyStore. He loves it! And the older boys play with it too. Abraham doesn't look like a baby anymore, does he?

Happy Birthday, my boy!

Sana helwa ya gameel...!

Two years ago this morning, I left Maadi and went to the Al Nada maternity hospital on the small island of Manial in the middle of the Nile in Cairo, Egypt. It was a scheduled cesarean section so I didn’t have to go through the pre-labor a birth usually entails, however several things went wrong and the after-pains were difficult. (Read the whole story here.) Thankfully there was no life-threatening or permanent damage, and the outcome of the event – a beautiful baby boy whom we named Karl-Abraham [Karl to celebrate his Swedish heritage, and Abraham to honor our Egyptian life as well as our American family] – is currently playing with his new toy kitchen here in Beirut, Lebanon.

As I remember those special days in the hospital, the noises and the smells, the neighborhood and the mosque down the road, I can’t help but wonder what it looks like today. I’m sure women are having babies as usual, however those children are born into a different Egypt from the one two years ago. The hospital is close enough to Tahrir that they can probably hear the chanting of the thousands of protesters laboring for a better life.

I’m not going to go off on the whole labor, pain, birth parallel here. A better writer than I am would probably be able to produce a beautiful piece on the matter. I will simply say this: on my mind today is my wonderful Abraham, my boys, and the future of Egypt, and I feel… optimistic.

Egypt is bleeding

Having written that last post, I feel the need to add that just because my expat friends have left Cairo safely, doesn't mean that Egypt is not in trouble, and that I am not worried. My point of that last post was to say that I am not really worried about my expat friends' safety. What I am praying for is the people in Tahrir and other parts throughout Cairo and Egypt fighting for democracy, freedom and justice. Actually, I am praying for all of Egypt and the future of the Egyptian people. I just heard through friends that one of the most prominent Egyptian bloggers, Sam Sandmonkey, has been arrested, and other friends that have spent every waking hour at Tahrir since this whole thing started left yesterday in the afternoon and went home to safe Maadi, because thugs were throwing molotov cocktails at them. Mubarak is not resigning, and he's using every ugly means possible short of bombing his own people to suppress this revolution. The situation in Egypt is currently bad, indeed.

Live your uncertain life the best way you can

We have talked to many of our friends in Cairo over these past days, and most of them have left Egypt by now on the US government chartered evacuation flights. Most of them did not directly fear for their personal safety, however lack of cash, internet, and the inability to work made staying in Cairo inconvenient for the time being. Some friends are thus currently in Istanbul, some in Athens, and others in Germany; a few continued all the way to the US, and have safely arrived. Our Canadian friends are being flown by their government to Paris. The cost of the tickets is to be reimbursed, and the price is $400, one way. Had we been in Cairo, it would have cost our family $2000 to get out, and then we would still have to get tickets to Sweden or the US, and back to Cairo. Adding that to the fact that Maadi really doesn’t seem very affected at all right now, I can see why some families choose to stay, or at least not all go. The grocery stores are open, delivering as usual, people are going out to eat and for walks around the neighborhood, and as far as I’ve heard, the CAC facilities has been opened so that people can use the track and playground. The future is uncertain of course, but I guess you could say that about anywhere, and worrying about it – I have learned – does not help. It is good to have a plan, of course, but in the meantime I prefer to live the way the Lebanese do: take one day at a time, and enjoy life as much as you can, because you never know what might happen tomorrow.

On that note, I will now go pick up Prof. Husband’s new glasses - replacing his old ones, which he accidentally stepped on last night and bust into pieces, along with some things for Abraham’s birthday party on Saturday.

The strong women of Egypt

This morning Twitter feeds, Facebook status updates, and news announced that the women of Egypt would be taking over the demonstrations for the day to give the men a break. We saw pictures of women taking to the streets and heading the demonstrations - as opposed to mainly men ,which has been the norm since the uprising began earlier last week. “The men had been going at it for days, and they needed to sleep,” the message sounded.

From what I know of Egyptian women after having lived in the country for three years, they are not able to take over the demonstrations because they – as opposed to their husbands, sons, brothers, uncles and fathers – have been resting, because they have not. While their male relatives have been out in the streets fighting for freedom, democracy and life, the Egyptian women have taken care of everything else: their homes, family, children, parents, the mosques, the neighborhoods, food, commerce, gossip, coordination, and everything else that is necessary business, come Mubarak or high water. Between the work and the worry, my guess is they have probably slept if possible even less that their male relatives.

Here is what I think: the Egyptian women are not taking to the streets because they are well rested; they are marking their presence in the history of Egypt because they are strong, many, and because they are the cornerstones of this Ancient country. They are there behind every move the people of Egypt make.

Most likely the majority of the new government will be men, which is something to shift away from, however the women will not be absent. It is not fair or even justifiable that women should have no credit or overt recognition of their power. The fact is though that women play a huge part in the politics of Egypt, and today’s march was a demonstration of this. Even though their individual names are not in the papers, the news, on Twitter or Facebook like those of prominent male political key figures, we should all keep in mind their collective power, and the fact that the women of Egypt are standing strong.

Oh Egypt, stay strong!

Two years ago this week I was sprawled out in a delivery room in Al Nada hospital on Al Manyal island in the Nile, in the middle of Cairo. I gave birth to a boy whom we named Abraham – not only because he was due on Abraham Lincoln’s 200^th birthday, but because it’s a name important to Christians and Muslims alike. We thought it was a nice symbol, representing the interfaith we experienced in Egypt; the co-existence, acknowledgement, and even encouragement that existed between religious groups, and we wanted to somehow link our life and the birth of our child to this amazing, historical country.

To get our papers in order we had to visit the Mughamma – the Egyptian version of our city hall - shortly after Abraham’s birth. There we acquired - after much ado- a birth certificate, which, among other things we used to get an American passport for our son.

Today on the news I see the Mughamma on fire, and I hope that we will never need to retrieve another copy again, because it is probably lost; the original record of our birth in Cairo is lost. From a safe distance I see pictures of all the places in Cairo I visited, lived, and walked every day for three years, and it’s a different world; the internet is feeding me images of violence, tear gas, and tanks.

We doubted our move last summer to Lebanon from a safety perspective as late as last week, especially in light of the recent developments with the government, and never did we think that this would happen in Egypt. Obviously the political situation of Egypt was untenable in our modern world, however nobody thought things would move so soon or fast – or at least I didn't.

Now our friends are stuck in Cairo, barely believing what is happening to them, and we are just amazed. How is this going to end? What is going to happen in Egypt now, and how long will it take?

Joking, a friend who is a fan of the computer game Civilization said, “Now Egypt has to get through *one turn* of anarchy. If it can survive that, it will turn into a better, stronger country.” One turn. If Mubarak steps down –and really, I don’t see any other outcome here; the Egyptian people have shown that they are not going to give up – that’s when the work will begin. A journalist friend told me "Abbas Abdi, a student leader of the Iranian revolution, told me once that as a young man who helped take over the United States embassy, he knew exactly what he wanted to tear down. It was only later, much later, that he realized he never thought about what he wanted to build up. "

I know that Egypt has potential. I have never felt safer walking the streets of Egypt. I have never met more honest, accepting and religious citizens, and I mean religious as in trustworthy, righteous and full of grace. There are few societies with matching ambition and faith, and most of all, there is no prouder and more historic people than the Egyptians. They will get through this, as they got through everything else over the past 8,000 years, and they will do it well. My hope is that the international community will be right there supporting them, and that it happens soon without more blood spill or pain. And without my friends getting hurt.

This week, as I celebrate my third son’s second birthday, and as the Egyptian people revolt against their hegemonous president, memories of our life in Cairo awaken in my mind, and I hope and pray that this all will end well.

Internet in Lebanon

My dear reader, please accept my apology for being absent these past couple of weeks. It is neither the holiday festivities nor a lack of ideas that have kept me from posting, but internet problems.

You see, when we moved into our apartment this past September, we were told that in order for us to get an ADSL connection we would have to apply to the mayor’s office for a phone number, which in Lebanon - it seems - is rather difficult. It involves several trips to the city hall, paperwork in Arabic only, and most importantly, some hundreds of dollars. Seeing that we don’t really need a phone in our apartment (we use cell phones), and that we’re hoping to move into faculty housing next summer, we decided this was not worth the time, effort or money required – especially in light of the fact that we were able to connect to the university campus wireless network from our apartment. I’m saying “were” here, and I think you might be able to guess where this is going. Granted, it was never a super-strong signal, but consistent and enough to even stream videos and such at times; enough for us, and probably not much worse than we would get with our own ADSL anyways.

This was all fine until a couple of days before Christmas, when suddenly the wireless signal got very weak. We could only access internet on the balcony, and it was extremely slow; Blogger was out of the question, as were posting, sending or viewing pictures, and most important, Skype was impossible. For a while we thought maybe things would improve after the break, but when the signal stayed weak, we ended up buying the only other alternative really, a WISE wireless dongle. Now we have internet anywhere in the house and it’s consistent, although the up-and download amount is very limited and we have to be careful so we don’t run out. The dongle itself cost $250 and every month you want to use it, you buy a refill card, which costs $50. I know; it’s expensive! But what can we do? Sigh.

A sappy post on being a homeschooling parent

As a parent AND my children’s teacher, I am very privileged as I get to witness every moment of progress and success my children make academically. (It is also a curse as I have to struggle through everything that is difficult myself, but that is a post for another day; today I want to focus on the joy.) At the end of the day, I don’t have to wonder what my children did in school or if they learned anything, if there were any problems, and if there were, if my boys overcame the obstacles; I know that they did well, because we never finish a day until both boys have done perfectly. We have a very rigorous curriculum, and sometimes it is hard for the boys to get through everything, but they always succeed, simply because there’s nothing else. Because this is a school just for them, there are no B’s, C’s, or D’s and certainly no F’s for fail; we work until the boys have reached an A-level every day. It is hard but also very rewarding, and I know they appreciate it. To see their faces and hear their, “Yes! Done with school for the day!” at the end of an extensive school day makes up for any struggle, because I know they are satisfied, and so, so proud of themselves. They know they made progress and that they are on top of their game. Of course, sometimes they have trouble learning something or they don’t get all correct at a test (just like any other child), but if they don’t, we’ll work through whatever went wrong, they’ll take another test or complete a worksheet until they know their lesson, and at the end of the day, they know they’re “100%.” They always get a small reward too; sometimes it’s a movie, some gaming time or something else they’ve been desiring, and sometimes it’s a small treat. We call it “after-school,” and everyone in the family enjoys it. Being a homeschooling parent is hard work, but so, so rewarding.

Decadence and sightseeing in Lebanon with friends

A couple of days after Christmas our best friends from Cairo arrived by plane for a two week visit. It was a dear reunion. The children – all the same ages – ran screaming towards each other and piled up in a big hug/bodies rub-together kind of chaos that lasted a good solid five minutes. It was loud and cute, both at the same time. It was great to see how happy they were to be together again. The kids then proceeded to pretty much spend the next fortnight in the same excited state, and I’m still wondering how they all got by on so little sleep for so long.

The adults were happy to see each other too, and we spent most of the holiday doing what we do best together; travel and visit sites, and eat & drink to our hearts’ delight. [I asked Courtney here if he could think of a verb form of ‘decadence’ and he suggested ‘decay,’ but however correct it would be to say that we ‘decayed,’ it doesn’t quite capture the spirit of our festive consumption.] We had fun indulging in everything from oysters with champagne, to caviar, duck, shrimp, bouillabaisse, salmon, wine and various spirits, sushi, octopus, and other delicacies.

On the day we went to visit Byblos we had a wonderful meal at a restaurant by the port; fresh fish that was cooked in an amazing way. The beautiful surrounding did their share to make the experience a truly memorable event. We hired a tourguide for our visit to the castle, well worth its money, and the whole day it didn’t rain but the sky looked dramatic with huge dark and fluffy clouds promising of a storm (a storm that came as we drove back to Beirut), which made the view over the Mediterranean sea fantastic.

Our visit to the Jeita Grottos was amazing as well, but what I think everyone enjoyed the most was our hike at the Cedar reserve up in the Al Shouf mountains. The kids just rolled around in the snow, excited to finally play in snow after all these years in the Egyptian desert, until they were so wet and cold they could do nothing but cry. Abraham kept excitedly exclaiming “No-man! No-man!” [For some reason he thought the word for snow was snowman.] but had trouble getting around in the foot deep snow. The adults enjoyed watching the kids have fun, as well as the beautiful view. Until that day I had not realized how diverse and extensive the country of Lebanon is. It’s not just Lebnah, horrible traffic, and Chestnut-selling men in the street corners; it’s ski-resorts and mountains, and hiking trails through forests.

After this decadent yet rejuvenating break we are now all back to work and school again. Bring on 2011!

The amphitheater in Byblos