Sunday, June 10, 2012

Relocation time (not ours)...

It’s getting to be that time of the year again. After the semester is over, some people don’t just leave for the summer, but for good. The boys are losing a couple of really good friends this year, who are going back to Canada. They are upset of course. They’ve seen these girls almost every day for well over a year, and have done so many things together with them; sleepovers, birthday parties, Halloween celebrations, lazy Sundays, Christmas…

The boys are good at making friends - very good friends quickly - but as expat kids in a community where most people are in a temporary position, they’ve also ended up losing friends, often and quickly. These are what you could call “Easy come, easy go-friendships.” The friendships are not easy as in shallow – in fact, they are often quite intense, since without close family or other networks nearby, you end up spending a lot of time together. This makes the goodbyes very difficult, of course, and it will take the boys some time to adjust to life without their favorite girls.

The boys understand that this is the way it goes though, when you live the way we do. In fact, they’ve never known a different life. Sometimes I wonder what it means and how it will affect them when they are older. Will they have trouble establishing long-lasting, meaningful relationships with people? Will they feel disoriented as they go through life without a solid geographical point of reference?

What is your take on this?


  1. Hi Jennifer. I am Nancy's mom, and I read your blog all the time...

    Just thought I would share a comment from our cousin Ellen, who raised her children all over the world while her husband, a civilian, taught school on military bases. She said that what matters most is what happens within the walls of your own home. She raised her kids to be kind, caring, happy, independent, educated people, and they all do just fine relationship-wise. They have good friends and strong marriages. Though I know that they all miss the nomadic, ex-pat lifestyle that was their normal life as children! I think that you and your husband are providing great opportunities for your children--and I really enjoy reading about them!

  2. Thank you so much Myrna! For reading and for these comforting words. (And congratulations on being a grandmother - again! Benjamin is so, so cute!)

  3. I think you must know THE book about TCK's ?
    Can really recommend it to understand your kids better & to help them through these transitions.

  4. Thanks Anneloes! Yes, I have read this book, and a couple of similar ones. I find that I still wonder and worry about my kids though, and especially around this time of the year...